I Think I’ve Finally Figured Out My Style

On getting older, knowing yourself and wearing what feels like you.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped worrying quite so much about whether I was supposed to like something.

I like white Oxford shirts.

I like jeans.

I love pearls.

I own more pairs of boots than I probably need.

And apparently, if my husband goes away for the weekend, there is a reasonable chance he will come home to find that I have changed something fairly significant about our house. 😂

At 62, I think I’ve finally figured out my style.

It’s whatever feels like me.

And strangely enough, I don’t think that has very much to do with fashion.

I Don’t Remember When It Changed

When we’re younger, there can be so much noise around how we’re supposed to look.

What’s fashionable.

What everyone else is wearing.

What’s appropriate for our age.

What’s in.

What’s out.

And whether we admit it or not, I think many of us spend at least some part of our lives looking sideways.

Am I doing this right?

I’ve certainly had different versions of myself over the years.

I was a young single mom.

A university student taking classes evenings and weekends.

A corporate woman.

A consultant working long days and travelling back and forth to job sites.

A woman planning for retirement.

And then, eventually, a woman learning how to make jewelry in a pair of rather ridiculous magnifying glasses. 😂

My clothes changed.

My life changed.

I changed.

But somewhere in all of that, I think I gradually became less interested in figuring out what I was supposed to like.

And much more comfortable simply noticing what I did like.

Apparently, I Have a Uniform

These days, give me a crisp Oxford shirt, jeans and a great pair of boots and I’m pretty happy.

Add a beautiful pair of earrings or a necklace and I’m done.

I love classic pieces.

I love things that feel feminine without feeling fussy.

I love sterling silver, pearls and gemstones.

I love pieces that have something interesting about them but don’t need to shout across the room.

And I’ve realized that’s probably why I keep returning to many of the same things in my jewelry designs too.

Flowers.

Branches.

Hearts.

Pearls.

Beautiful stones.

Movement.

Simple shapes.

Pieces that can be worn with the clothes you actually live in.

I don’t sit down at my bench and ask myself:

What should a woman be wearing this season?

I find myself thinking much more about:

Would I want to wear this?

Would it feel beautiful on an ordinary day?

Would I reach for it again and again?

That distinction matters to me.

Then There Are the Boots...

I should probably address those. 😂

I have quite a few pairs.

There are practical boots.

Dressier boots.

Tall boots.

Short boots.

And presumably each pair serves an entirely different and completely necessary purpose.

At least that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

But I actually think there’s something rather lovely about knowing the things that make you feel like yourself.

Maybe for you it isn’t boots at all.

Maybe it’s red lipstick.

A beautiful scarf.

Your grandmother’s ring.

Sneakers with everything.

A fabulous pair of glasses.

A perfume you’ve worn for twenty years.

Or a piece of jewelry you put on so often that you almost feel strange when you forget it.

Those little choices become part of us.

Not because we’re trying to create an image for everyone else.

Simply because we like them.

I May Have Taken This Philosophy Beyond My Closet

A few years after we built our home in the Okanagan, the exterior was still the rather bland colour of the primed HardiePlank.

I had been thinking about painting it.

I loved the look of East Coast homes, and I had a colour in mind: Benjamin Moore Hale Navy.

Then Merv went away to Edmonton for the weekend.

This is occasionally a dangerous thing for Merv to do. 😂

Marley and I stayed home.

So while he was gone, I decided to test the colour.

I painted a few patches of Hale Navy on the exterior wall by the upper deck so I could live with it for a bit and see what I thought.

Merv came home.

He was not nearly as enthusiastic about my little experiment as I was. 😂

And looking at the size of the house, I suppose I can understand why.

But I loved the colour.

So eventually, we painted it.

It was a big job.

And when it was finally finished, I loved it even more.

I still do.

Was it everyone’s choice?

Probably not.

But it felt like us — or perhaps I should say it felt like me, and Merv has learned to live quite happily with some of my ideas. 😂

And maybe that’s another version of personal style.

It’s not only what we put on our bodies.

It’s the colours we’re drawn to.

The things we surround ourselves with.

The way we make a home.

The art we choose.

The places where we feel most ourselves.

The things we make.

Over time, those choices begin to tell a story.

Maybe Confidence Isn’t About Being Noticed

There was a time when I thought a lot about standing out.

Turning heads.

Making a statement.

Being noticed.

Today, I’m not sure that’s what confidence means to me at all.

Maybe confidence isn’t about being noticed.

Maybe it’s becoming comfortable enough with yourself that you don’t need to be.

That doesn’t mean becoming invisible.

And it certainly doesn’t mean making yourself smaller.

Wear the enormous earrings if you love them.

Wear the bright dress.

Paint the house navy.

Buy the boots.

Or wear the same simple silver hoops three days in a row because they’re the ones that feel like you.

The point isn’t whether anybody else notices.

The point is that you recognize yourself.

There’s something rather freeing about that.

And perhaps that’s one of the things I’ve come to appreciate as I’ve grown older: becoming more comfortable simply being myself. It’s something I’ve noticed in photographs too, and wrote about recently in Take the Picture: Your Life Is Worth Remembering.

Where Jewelry Fits In

I used to describe jewelry as something that could give a woman confidence.

I see that differently now too.

I don’t think a necklace gives us confidence.

I don’t think earrings make us authentic.

Those things already belong to us.

But I do think the things we choose to wear can express something that’s already there.

A heart can remind us of someone we love.

A pearl can feel timeless and familiar.

A gemstone can remind us of a place, a season or a memory.

A flower can connect us to something we notice in nature.

And sometimes a pair of earrings simply makes us smile when we catch our reflection in the mirror.

That’s enough too.

The jewelry we reach for again and again often tells a little story about who we are — not because it announces us to the room, but because it feels familiar when we put it on.

That’s much closer to what I want Plein de Vie Jewelry to be.

Jewelry that moves through your real days with you.

I Think Getting Older Has Helped

There are certainly things about getting older that nobody needs me to romanticize. 😂

But this part?

I really like this part.

At 62, I know myself better than I did at 32.

I know what I like.

I know what I don’t.

I know that I can change my mind.

I know that somebody else disliking something doesn’t automatically mean I should dislike it too.

And I’ve become much less interested in following rules that don’t have a particularly good reason for existing.

I don’t think we suddenly arrive at some magical age where we have ourselves completely figured out.

I’m still changing.

I’m still curious.

I’m still trying things.

And I’m certainly still capable of surprising Merv with the occasional home-improvement project. 😂

But perhaps authenticity isn’t about finally arriving at a finished version of ourselves.

Maybe it’s simply becoming increasingly comfortable allowing ourselves to become whoever we’re becoming.

Wear What Feels Like You

These days, I wouldn’t tell a woman that she was born to stand out.

And I wouldn’t tell her that she needs jewelry to make her shine.

I’d say something much simpler.

Wear the things you love.

Keep the things that mean something.

Try something simply because you’re curious.

Let your style change as you do.

And don’t worry quite so much about whether everyone else understands it.

Because perhaps the best thing about finding your own style isn’t finally knowing what to wear.

It’s finally becoming comfortable with the woman who’s wearing it.

And if that woman happens to own more pairs of boots than she probably needs?

Well.

She probably has her reasons. 😂

Life is short. Wear what feels like you.